I’ve heard people talk about leaning into fear and embracing fear. I listened when they said it’s ok to be scared, just do it anyway. I nodded my head with the collective body and agreed I would do that when the time came.
I thought I understood what it meant. I mean, I’ve done scary things before…
But I think I finally got it.
My Scary Thing
Last week, I did something really scary (for me). I decided to try to REALLY grow my Facebook group. I’d had the same 50 people in my group (all friends and family, bless them) for 2 years. I told myself I had tried to grow it and it just wasn’t meant to be.
Then I witnessed the massive growth of a group I was in and the leaders were offering a 4 week course to show you how to do the same.
So, I signed up.
That’s how I do things… I just jump in/sign up/decide to do something without really thinking it through.
Then when things get hard, I quit.
It Got Hard But I Didn’t Quit
I did everything they said to do. But the day before announcing to my group a big giveaway I had planned (involving several other entrepreneurs) I almost chickened out.
I told the class, “My biggest fear is that no one will invite their friends into my group.” That would be my biggest nightmare. Not only would it be embarrassing for me, but I would also feel bad for the other participants that agreed to giveaway a product/service as well.
They told me to push past that fear and just do it.
So I did.
No one invited.
For 3 days, no one invited. I cried myself to sleep and stressed about it every waking moment. Seems ridiculous, doesn’t it? But I was mortified.
Something Amazing Happened
On day 4 I decided for reasons only known to the Universe, I must not be ready for growth. So, I put trust into the Universe that I would grow when I was ready.
I also journaled about this new revelation and realized I was connecting my self worth to the results of my giveaway.
I decided in that moment that I would trust the Universe and no longer connect my self worth to the outcome. I closed my journal and felt at peace. Finally.
The very next minute I logged into Facebook to see I had 400 invites to approve.
I can’t tell you how many times I had to look to make sure I was actually logged into MY group!
By trusting the Universe had my back (and being ok with not knowing the details) and deciding not to be consumed by the outcome, things began to happen.
I fully believe this was more about a journey in my personal development and not so much about growing my group.
Step One: Name Your Fear
If you want to face something head-on, the first thing you need to do is name it. What is it that you’re afraid of? Be very honest with yourself and dig deep.
Usually by asking why you’re afraid of something, you’ll get to the real reason.
I was afraid to announce my giveaway not because I was afraid that no one would invite, but because I thought that was a reflection of my self worth.
Putting a name to the fear and actually speaking it aloud somehow decreases the power it has over you.
Step Two: Think of the Worst Case Scenario
Before you begin, go ahead and envision the worst that can happen.
How will that make you feel?
Why would you feel that way?
How will you work through those feelings if that happens?
By having a plan, it won’t seem as scary. And you’ll know what to do if the worst does happen.
Step Three: Do the Damn Thing
Be like Nike, and just do it.
Step Four: Be OK With Failure
Stepping into your fear, also means you have to be ok with failure. You’re not always going to be successful and that’s ok.
Your self worth is NOT connected to the outcome.
I’ve decided to stop looking at it as a failure, and more as a learning experience.
Ask yourself, what did I learn from this? What worked? What didn’t?
Then adjust your ponytail and get back to work.
How Did My Giveaway End?
I ended with 266 AMAZING women in my group. All the type of women of wanted in my group.
I learned some things I could’ve done differently (and will incorporate next time).
And I celebrated the things I did right.
I’m so grateful for the entire process. It really was such a blessing.
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If you want to be a part of this amazing community, I’d love to have you!